4 Things I Learned from “Happy”

“Be happy with what you have and are, be generous with both, and you won’t have to hunt for happiness.” – William E. Gladstone

As I mentioned in a previous post, my wife is on bed rest, 36 weeks pregnant with the next Fowler (modified bed rest at this time – thank you Lord!).

As a deliberate battle against the overwhelm of undone tasks one experiences with two young children and a wife on bedrest, I decided we should watch movies while the girls nap on Saturdays.

So far, the only complete movie we’ve watched is The Nutty Professor – it was a worthy choice (kudos to Jill).

But, as we were perusing the list of free Amazon Prime movies this past weekend, I stumbled upon this movie – and I can’t stop recommending it to people!

(Disclosure: Jill and I have not actually watched this film together, but plan to. We ended up watching multiple episodes of the Big Bang Theory instead – who knew that TV show plays almost continuously on weekends? I had to get up at 5am and watch “Happy” from the bike trainer!)

Here is what I learned from this great film.

happy

I love the positive psychology movement and this movie is a documentary that explores the findings of the movement to see who are the happiest people in the world and why.

I learned a lot from this very entertaining film, but here are my top 4 take aways. 

  1. What Not To Do – According to the film, the folks in Japan are not very happy. In fact, they are dying from over-work. Death from stress and over work even has a name there – karōshi. Karōshi is when people die unexpectedly from stress and overwork. Karōjisatsu is when people commit suicide due to overwhelming workplace stress.The examples in the movie are scary, mostly because I can see a little of myself in each of them. How often have I put a work deadline over my kids or my wife? How often am I mentally absent even when physically present with my family, because my mind is on my work?Seeing overblown examples of my poor behavior were a wakeup call.
  2. Stuff Brings No Happiness – The movie cites a study showing that after you make enough money to cover your basic needs, that more money does not improve happiness. Why? Because we can’t keep our standards in one place. As soon as we reach one plateau of wealth, we move our eyes to the next level up. As humans, we seem destined to never be satisfied with what we have.This causes several problems. One is living beyond our means with debt. We end up working just to make payments on the stuff that actually never brings us happiness. The overwork and lack of time for relationships diminishes our happiness even more. Our focus is more and more on paying for our lifestyle (focus on self) rather than how we can do good for others – which is where real happiness is found.
  3. Happiness is Community – or family, but most likely both. Community and family are love and love is what we are all seeking.
    There are several great examples in the movie. One was of a man in India who made his living pulling other people to their destinations in hand-pulled rickshaw. He admitted that his feet hurt during the day and that it did get very hot, but that he had a good life. He always looked forward to coming home and having his children run out to greet him. He loved his neighbors in the little shack village he lived in. They loved one another and looked out for each other. He said that his house does let in a good bit of rain during the monsoon season, but that life was good. He was happy.Another great example were the communal living spaces in Denmark. Where families lived in cohabitation spaces, had dinner together and lived lives together. Again, it was a community that was looking after each other.How rare has living in a real community become in America? Our houses may be only 10 feet from each other, but we are so busy going to and from work, to kids’ activities and just from here to there that we rarely get to know our neighbors.
  4. Happiness is Giving – Whether it is giving your complete attention to your spouse or kids or grander gestures like taking care of the dying at Mother Teresa’s Home in India, serving is where true happiness if found.Yet we continue to pack our schedules so tight that the slightest delay sets us in a tailspin. How can we make time to serve when we barely have time to get from one meeting or appointment to the next?

Serving, relationships, happiness happens in the margins of life. When we have those moments to relax, to breath and to be totally present in what we are doing.

In America, we have an amazing amount of freedom in our schedules. We can pack them tight from dusk to dawn and barely leave room for sleep, or we can schedule in margin. We can do the same in our financial lives by living a life fueled by debt or one with margin to give, to rest.

It’s all up to us. This movie helped me realize that. Take some time and watch Happy with your loved ones. Use it as catalyst to point your life just a little more in the direction of Happy.

What do you do to create happiness in your life?

Thank you for being a part of our values driven community!

Image courtesy of Happy – The Movie.  

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