Claim Your Farts

Yep, the secret to being a better leader is claiming your farts (or tootie booties as we call them in our house)… and all of the other really embarrassing screw ups that you’d prefer no one to ever know about.

Farts

The first step in building any relationship is developing trust. Trust is developed through brutal honesty and vulnerability. Being willing to admit your screw ups, weaknesses, failures and fears.

Think about the performances we put on every day. We act confident when we are not, we are always dressed our best when we go out and we’d never let someone inside our home when things weren’t perfect. Listen – I’m not suggesting you roll out of bed and go straight into the office or to not pick up before people come over, but why do we always have to be in “show” mode?

Consider your deepest relationships. What makes those relationships so great? Mainly your ability to be open, honest and feel safe sharing everything with that person. That is what we are missing in workplaces today. We are all too busy trying to be the smartest, most put together person in the room.

As an example, my wife and I have two daughters ages 2 and 1. They are the lights of our world, but being a new mom can be very, very hard. Unfortunately, no mom likes to admit that she is at her wits end because of her brand new little one. They only post happy pictures on Facebook when the house is clean and everyone is pretty.

When we had our first daughter, Jill quickly determined that these women must be lying. She decided to be honest. She told everyone who asked how hard being a new mom was and how she was struggling. She was so honest that I had to periodically ask her if she was happy that we had a kid. She quickly let me know that our child was the best thing that had ever happened to her, but that being a new mom was very difficult.

What happened? Women came out of the woodwork to tell Jill about their struggles while being a new mom. They consoled each other and finally understood that they were not the only new moms who struggle. This made all of these newly transparent moms feel a whole lot better about themselves and allowed them to receive help from others. Why? All because my wife was brave enough to show her weakness in public.

But would anyone ever do that in the office? Of course not! And that is exactly the problem. We are all weak sometimes, we all have things that we are not that good at, we have all farted, got caught and tried to cover it up!

So, here is what I’m asking you to do. Next time you sneak one out in meeting, let out a big laugh and ask someone to pull your finger. You’ll be a hero! Next time you are in way over your head, ask for help. As the leader, you’ve got to be the first to stand up and look foolish. It’s OK to be human. Let everyone in your organization know that.

Jim Collins has always been my favorite living business guru. I’m just impressed by a guy that can statistically prove why and how companies can become great. I’ve always hesitated to read too much of Patrick Lencioni’s work because he is not a data hound like Jim is. He is a story teller (the fart story originated from one of his talks),  but I’m beginning to really appreciate his ability to break complex organizational health issues down into actionable and digestible chunks. Over the next couple blogs, we’ll look at some of his work on “vulnerability-based trust” and learn how we can create more of it in our organizations.

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